


Milk and Two Sugars

by monochromekiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:23:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monochromekiss/pseuds/monochromekiss
Summary: Levi never thought much of Valentine's Day or considered it relevant in any way. But after realising just how deep his feelings for Erwin Smith go, he starts to see it in a whole new light. The only problem is confessing his feelings before the day ends turns out to be a lot harder than he expected.





	Milk and Two Sugars

 

Valentine’s Day was a day set aside for people to express their romantic feelings towards the special someone in their life they held dear and above all else. Although in theory this was a nice sentiment, Levi had never really given it much thought before. Being a soldier in the Survey Corps meant that he and his comrades could be killed at any time. They were already preoccupied by fighting titans and planning to claim back land for humanity, so there wasn’t time to indulge in romance or relationships.

This had never bothered Levi before, and he had always seen Valentine’s Day as a completely pointless holiday. That year would have most likely stayed the same had it not been for the trainees of the 104th loudly discussing it nearby.

Levi had been quietly sipping his tea when he had first heard them, Eren’s voice loudly cutting through the silence. The brunette seemed to have an annoying habit of shouting constantly, much to Levi’s displeasure.

“It doesn’t matter?! How can it not matter?! I can’t believe none of you are bothered about it!” Eren gasped with fierce determination to win whatever argument was taking place.

“Why the hell would we care? Valentine’s Day is just like any other day.” Jean sighed, seemingly sharing the same sentiments as Levi.

“You’re just bitter because no one wants to be your valentine, horseface.” Eren huffed in response.

“What does it even mean if you’re someone’s valentine?” Sasha asked curiously.

“Well, I mean...It’s like…” Eren hesitated for a long moment as he struggled to find the right words to explain, a long silence filling the air as his friends waited. “It’s that one person you value above everyone else, you know? You feel happier just by being close to them. You admire everything about them, you trust them the most. You have a special bond no one else can come close to...And it just feels like fate or destiny that they ever came into your life.”

Levi remained quiet as the young cadets continued their conversation, their voices gradually fading away into the distance until he was alone again. He gazed down into his cup of tea and let out a soft sigh. This was another reason why Levi had never shown any interest in Valentine’s Day, because he didn’t feel particularly close to anyone. He had emotionally closed himself off since Farlan and Isabel’s deaths, and kept everyone at a safe distance.

Now that he thought about it, Erwin was the only person in his life that came even close to the feelings Eren described. He certainly admired the man and trusted his judgement. He felt more calm and relaxed when in Erwin’s presence, and he valued his opinion more than anyone else’s.

Levi’s eyes widened at the sudden realisation, his breath hitching slightly. How had he not noticed this before? Although they were undeniably close Levi had always told himself they were simply comrades who respected each other. But now he had a chance to think over their time together he realised it was so much more than that.

Only Erwin was able to calm him just by being at his side when it felt like the world was collapsing around him. No one else had been allowed to see Levi break down and cry after his friends had died outside the walls. Erwin knew more about Levi than anyone else ever could.

“Shit...I’m in love with him.” Levi murmured quietly to himself, and once he had uttered those words out loud it felt like the most obvious thing in the world.

The short male was so lost in his own thoughts he failed to notice Hange joining him until she made a point of flopping down dramatically into the seat opposite him.

“What’s got you so deep in thought, shortie?” Hange asked with a bright smile, resting her chin on her hands.

“Nothing…” Levi mumbled, purely on instinct. He was so used to not being open about his feelings. But now this was weighing heavily on his mind, he felt compelled to get it off his chest. Despite how crazy she could be, Hange had surprisingly good insight into people’s feelings. “Although...I was just wondering...Do you think it’s possible to be in love with someone for a long time without even realising? It’s just so natural being close to them you stop questioning it.”

Levi wasn’t sure what sort of reaction he had expected, but when he looked up at her he was surprised to see the same gleeful expression she often had when she learned studying titans. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes narrowing. “What?”

“We’re talking about you and Erwin aren’t we?” Hange asked, letting out a loud laugh at the startled look Levi gave her in response. “Don’t be so surprised, shortie. It’s pretty obvious.”

“Well I’m glad you find this so amusing.” Levi huffed quietly. He was starting to wish he could go back to being blissfully ignorant of his own feelings.

“This is just so perfect! Just in time for Valentine’s Day! You need to confess to him before then!” Hange gushed excitedly, reaching over the table and grabbing one of Levi’s hands as she leaned in close. “How are you going to do it? A big romantic gesture? A touching speech about how much he means to you? Or both?”

Levi frowned and pulled his hand away from her. He hadn’t been planning on confessing to the commander at all. If they had gone by for so many years without Erwin saying a thing, it seemed unlikely that he felt the same way and Levi wanted to spare himself any unnecessary rejection.

“I’m not confessing.” Levi replied bluntly.

“Aww, why not?!” Hange whined, sounding incredibly disappointed.

“Because I have no interest in embarrassing myself and getting rejected.” Levi sighed, rolling his eyes at her.

Hange tutted at him and shook her head as if she was scolding a naughty child. “Now, now Shortie, don’t give up before you even try. You might be surprised by his answer.” She then stood up from the table, giving his shoulder a reassuring pat. “You should tell him. Trust me.”

This rather cryptic advice from Hange had the captain wondering if she perhaps knew something he didn’t. If there was even the slightest slither of hope that Erwin might feel the same way, Levi wanted to take it. But Levi never had been good with expressing his emotions, and there was only one full day left until Valentine’s Day. If he wanted to follow her advice, he would have to think of something quick.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that evening when Levi had managed to gather his thoughts a little, he headed towards the commander’s office with the full intention of following Hange’s advice. It was commonplace for Levi to visit Erwin late at night and help him with paperwork, so that wouldn’t seem too unusual. He would have a chance to try and steer the conversation towards their relationship while they worked...Or at least he hoped so.

He knocked on the door once, waiting until he heard Erwin’s voice before letting himself in. As usual the blonde was sat behind his desk with large piles of paperwork stacked up in front of him.

“They never give you a break, do they?” Levi asked as he quickly crossed the room and pulled up a chair to sit beside him. He didn’t even wait for permission from Erwin before taking the nearest document and reading through it.

“Ah, Levi...I’m glad you’re here.” Erwin replied with a grateful smile, and even though Levi was trying not to stare he could feel his heart beating faster when those blue eyes looked over at him. Why did the blonde have to look so damn attractive whenever he smiled?

“I’m not surprised. You’ll be here all night without my help.” Levi huffed in his usual tone.

The next few hours passed by in mostly comfortable silence as the two of them worked, and with both of their efforts they were able to make their way through the piles of paperwork that had been stacked up.

As Levi returned the last of the papers to Erwin’s desk, he chanced a look over at the blonde. It seemed like an ideal opportunity to confess if he could try and steer the conversation in that direction, as there was only the two of them there.

“This has become quite normal for us, hasn’t it?” Levi asked, inwardly cursing himself for pointing out the obvious. But he had to move the conversation forward somehow. He couldn’t just confess his feelings out of the blue.

“Yeah, it has.” Erwin replied as he leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. The man looked exhausted which wasn’t all that surprising. “Thank you, Levi. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Levi was grateful that Erwin had closed his eyes, not wanting him to see the faint blush that threatened to cross his cheeks. He moved to sit on the edge of the desk, gazing down at the man he had fallen in love with. He had to say it now. This was the ideal time.

“Oi, Erwin...We help each other out a lot, don’t we? And I trust you more than anyone else.” Levi murmured, pausing until he heard the blonde let out a slight hum of acknowledgement. “I’ve realised it’s more than that though. I care about you so much...I love you.”

Levi could feel his heart pounding in his chest and the seconds seemed to drag by as he waited for some kind of answer. But no matter how long he waited Erwin remained silent, his eyes still closed and his lips slightly parted. “Erwin?...” Levi asked hesitantly, leaning over the blonde with a frown. When there was still no answer, the shorter male let out a frustrated sigh. Of course it was just his luck the first time he managed to confess, Erwin had to fall asleep.

“Oi, don’t fall asleep in your damn chair.” Levi huffed, nudging the blonde’s leg with his foot.

Erwin suddenly sat bolt upright in his chair, blinking several times and glancing around the room wearily until his eyes fell on Levi. “I’m sorry...I...What were you saying?”

Levi opened his mouth again to speak, but then quickly decided against it. The ideal moment had already passed, and he didn’t want to trouble Erwin with this when he was already so tired. Instead he simply shook his head and sighed. “Nothing important, just go to bed.”

It took a few minutes for Erwin to push himself up out of his chair, straightening out the stacks of paperwork into neat piles before crossing the room so they could leave. He held the door open for Levi in an almost gentlemanly manner, and Levi briefly wondered if there was any meaning behind it. Probably not, since it was something Erwin had done for as long as he could remember.

“Good night.” Levi uttered quietly, hurrying away down the corridor without even giving Erwin a chance to respond. He had embarrassed himself enough for one night.

He wanted to retreat to his private quarters as quickly as possible, but was unfortunate enough to bump into Hange on his way back. The harsh scowl on his face should have told her everything, yet she still greeted him with an enthusiastic smile.

“Hey shortie! Did you tell him how you feel yet?” Hange asked, and Levi felt like kicking her in the shin.

“What do you think?!” He huffed angrily, shoving past her so he could retreat to his room. He slammed the door loudly behind him, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. He still had one day left though. Perhaps tomorrow things would work out better.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day started off more or less the same as usual, but Levi found the hours flying by a lot faster than he expected. He was used to having to work hard, but with training the members of the 104th in the morning followed by overseeing Hange’s experiments with Eren, it was already late afternoon before he was even able to catch a glimpse of the commander.

Heavily aware that time was running out Levi made a point of brewing a cup of tea with a splash of milk and two sugars, exactly how he knew Erwin liked it, before carrying it purposefully towards the man’s office. Just like before he knocked once, waiting for the blonde’s voice before stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“Levi? I wasn’t expecting you here.” Erwin remarked with a look of genuine surprise. “I thought you would still be with Hange overseeing Eren’s progress.”  
  
“I’m sure I can leave her unattended for ten minutes without her killing him, probably.” Levi sighed, rolling his eyes a little. He placed the cup of tea down on the desk and slided it towards Erwin. Judging by the questioning look he received in return, Erwin was most likely wondering why Levi had gone out of his way just to bring him tea.

“Worried I might overwork myself?” Erwin asked, a faint smile crossing his lips that had Levi’s heart racing again.

“Well, there is that. But that’s not the only reason.” Levi replied.

“Oh? What’s the other reason?” Erwin questioned.

For a moment Levi wasn’t sure how to respond, and stayed silent as he tried to recollect his thoughts. There was so many possible answers in his mind he wasn’t sure where to begin.

_Because you’re everything to me. I want to show you how much you mean to me but I can’t do it with words. I want you to see my feelings before this drives me insane._

Just as Levi opened his mouth to speak there was another knock at the door, halting his progress. What made matters worse was Erwin calling out to them to enter. Levi had to use all of his willpower not to send a harsh glare towards Mike when he stepped into the room, but he knew it was impossible for him to confess now they weren’t alone.

“I better be getting back to Hange…” Levi sighed in defeat, briskly walking past Mike and out of the office.

When he had returned to Hange’s side nothing much seemed to have changed since the last time, though she was still staring down at the young brunette fondly with a look of excitement. A familiar grin crossed his lips as she turned her attention towards Levi, and before she had even uttered a word Levi knew what was coming.

“Did you tell him?” Hange asked.

“No, I didn’t...Now shut up.” Levi demanded, and with that the conversation was dropped entirely.

 

* * *

 

 

Despite his best efforts, Levi woke up early on the morning of Valentine’s day still without confessing his feelings for Erwin. Although he didn’t feel too concerned about not having time to prepare something romantic as he knew the two of them had limited freedom and wouldn’t be able to spend much time together, he still felt the need to lay his feelings out.

Now that he had finally realised just how deep his emotions were for Erwin, not being able to freely express it and wondering if he felt the same way was driving him crazy. Hange’s constant pestering also wasn’t helping. If he didn’t confess his feelings until after Valentine’s Day, Hange might take it upon herself to do it for him and he dreaded to think how that would go.

With a new sense of urgency Levi headed towards the canteen area in search for the commander, sending a harsh glare towards any of the young cadets who dared make eye contact as a warning for them not to approach him.

Levi brewed another cup of tea for the man, milk and two sugars, just like before and stormed purposefully towards Erwin as soon as his eyes fell on him.

Understandably Erwin was incredibly surprised when he turned around, only to find an angry looking captain stood there holding out a cup towards him. “Levi? Did you need something?” He asked with a concerned expression.

“Here.” Levi huffed, shaking the cup slightly just enough to draw the blonde’s attention to it.

“Thank you…” Erwin replied, gratefully taking the cup from him. But as nice as the gesture was, it still left him with many questions. He could tell something was weighing on Levi’s mind. “Was there something you wanted to discuss with me?”

Levi took a deep breath to try and compose himself, staring up into Erwin’s ocean blue eyes. All of the things he’d had planned out in his head now seemed to be running away from him, but he pressed on regardless. “Yeah...How long have we known each other now? Actually, don’t answer that. I know it’s been a really long time. You have always been the one person I’ve respected and trusted unconditionally. And I-”

Levi stopped in his speech abruptly, his eyes glancing down towards the floor. He had already said the words once when Erwin had been at his desk, but with those blue eyes gazing down at him expectantly it felt impossible to say them out loud.

There was a long period of awkward silence between them as Erwin patiently waited for Levi to finish whatever it was he needed to say, but the longer the silence went on the more of a fool Levi felt. He couldn’t say it. He risked losing too much if Erwin didn’t feel the same way, and the thought of the mutual respect they had built up over the years suddenly breaking had his chest tightening with anxiety.

“Levi?” Erwin prompted after a while, and even without looking up Levi could tell he was still staring at him in bewilderment.

“It’s fine. It can wait.” Levi muttered with a depressed sigh, turning on his heel and walking away before Erwin could urge him to continue. He wasn’t sure how long he was planning on waiting to tell him, but at this rate probably until one of them died.

 

* * *

 

 

Levi already felt incredibly foolish for his failed attempts at expressing his love, but what made him feel even more foolish was the fact that he was now sat outside sulking, his knees brought up to his chest as he glared off into the distance. Perhaps this behaviour would be forgivable from a young and confused teenager, but not a man in his thirties.

His gaze remained set dead ahead of him even as a pair of brown leather boots walked beside him before moving into his field of vision.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding?” Hange asked, that same gleeful smile on her face as she stared down at him.

Levi refused to look up at her, biting on his bottom lip in frustration. He knew what was coming by now, but he still wasn’t prepared for it.

_Don’t ask me again. Don’t you dare ask me again._

“Did you confess your feelings yet?” Hange asked in her usual optimistic tone.

The second those words left her mouth Levi was suddenly on his feet, his hands clenched into fists at his side as he glared straight at her. “No! Do you really think it’s that simple?!” He snapped at her, letting out a shaky sigh. “It’s easy for you to tell me to just say it. But I can’t. How am I supposed to tell Erwin, the man I’ve looked up to and stayed loyal to all these years that I’ve fallen in love with him? Because if he rejects me...That’s gonna hurt like shit and I’m not sure I can deal with it.”

At some point during Levi’s ramblings, Hange’s optimistic smile had faded away and had been replaced with a shocked expression, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. Levi initially thought she was simply surprised by his outburst, until he realised her gaze seemed to be focused on something behind him.

Levi slowly turned around to follow her gaze, his heart faltering in his chest as his eyes fell open a bewildered looking Erwin only a short distance away from him. The seconds seemed to drag by again, as if the whole world had been frozen in time just to make Levi’s suffering even worse. But eventually the usual stoic and calm expression everyone was used to returned to Erwin’s face, and he was the first to break the silence.

“I was hoping to talk with you in private...If you have a minute.”

Levi simply nodded in response, too afraid to open his mouth again so soon after blurting out something like that. He wordlessly followed Erwin back inside and towards the man’s office, dreading the conversation that would inevitably follow. He knew Erwin would never be cruel enough to mock him or even resent him for the way he felt. If anything Erwin would be the one apologising for not feeling the same way, letting down Levi as kindly as possible. But their relationship wouldn’t be the same, and just that was painful enough.

When they reached the commander’s office Levi stepped inside and closed the door behind him, his hand hovering over the handle before he forced himself to turn around and face Erwin. “What was it you wanted?” Levi asked quietly, still refusing to meet his gaze.

“I had been planning on discussing the plans for our next expedition with you. But I feel that there is something more important now we need to talk about.” Erwin replied, surprisingly calm considering what he must have heard. He stayed quiet, his chin resting on his hands as he waited for Levi to offer some kind of explanation, but the shorter male remained silent. “About what you said to Hange...Is it true? You’re in love with me?”  
  
“Yeah…” Levi breathed out. There didn’t seem any point in denying it. He had no plausible excuse he could think of for why he would say it otherwise, and Erwin was a smart man. He was probably already piecing the puzzle together in his head, realising the significance of Levi’s previous actions.

“I see.” Erwin replied, standing up from his chair and walking around his desk to close the space between them. He gently placed his arm around Levi’s shoulders, holding the short captain against his chest. “You should have told me sooner. We could have tried to plan something special for today.”

Levi felt completely frozen in place, his eyes wide as he struggled to comprehend what was happening. Why would Erwin want to hug him after everything? Why on earth would he have wanted Levi to express his feelings sooner? Unless…

“You feel the same way?” Levi gasped, tilting his head upwards. His breath hitched slightly at the beautiful smile he was greeted with, which was all the confirmation he needed.

“Yes. I love you too, Levi.” Erwin said as he leaned down to press their lips together in a gentle kiss. Even as their lips broke apart, their bodies remained pressed against each other, Levi lifting his arms up to encircle around Erwin’s waist. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Levi let out a content sigh, a faint smile tugging at his lips. Maybe this stupid holiday he had disregarded for so long wasn’t so pointless after all. “Yeah...Happy Valentine’s Day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I've been trying to write more for the AOT fandom, but this fanfic came about when I tried and failed quite a few times to confess my feelings to a crush of mine. I got to say it in the end though, and it made a good story.


End file.
